How to Talk to Your Child's Coach

Truth #1 = Coaches are not evil.

Truth #2 = You can communicate with your coach.

This is a great video that endorses our Athletic Department policy on Coach/Athlete/Parent communication.

Watch the video for tips and ideas from someone outside our school. I think you will see our philosophy is not unique!

If you as a parent have a question or problem with your coach, there is a proper way to communicate. In short, our policy is to follow this process:

1. The first step is to encourage your athlete to talk to their coach personally and privately. One of the most popular questions is about playing time. The best way for an athlete to handle this question is to ask, "What can I do to increase the amount of time I get to play in games?" I have never, ever heard of a coach that won't take the time to answer this question of a player. We want our student-athletes to learn through their participation in sports. One of those learning experiences is to learn how to communicate properly with adults who have authority over you. This is not always a comfortable situation, but it is great for them to learn. The question doesn't have to be about playing time. ANY conversations about questions or problems that come up during the season should start with a Player / Coach discussion. 95% of the time this is the only discussion that needs to occur. As the video says, students can become responsible for their own experience.

2. If this meeting does not go well or if issues are not resolved, it may become necessary for the athlete/parent to set up a meeting with the coach to discuss the issue. As with the player/coach meeting, this discussion needs to be in private and NOT after or before a contest. Most schools use a 24 hour rule. This rule says that a player or coach will not talk to a coach within 24 hours of a contest. This gives some "cooling off" time. Cooling off time is important because parents are passionate about their kids, and they should be! But sometimes emotion can get in the way of problem resolution. Follow the 24 hour rule, it works!

3. The 3rd step is for the Athletic Director, ME, act as a mediator for resolution of the problem. I can tell you that every single one of our Coaches at GHS talk to me about issues that come up on their teams, DAILY! There are very few problems I am not aware of (however, sometimes it does occur!) After going through the first two steps, if your son or daughter does not feel the problem has been resolved, I should be contacted. Re-read that statement. Make sure it isn't just a problem YOU have. If the athlete is satisfied, let it drop. If not, I will schedule a meeting with all the interested parties and we will come to some type of resolution. That doesn't always mean we can fix it to a parents or athletes satisfaction. Sometimes we just have to agree to disagree about the resolution of a problem But, we are committed to doing what we think is best for the kids at GHS.

4. The 4th step is to forward this problem to the Principal. He/She will also set up a meeting to talk about the situation with all the parties involved. Again, if the problem is not resolved to your satisfaction.

5. The final step is to set up a meeting with the Superintendent.

I was a parent of a couple of GHS students at one time. I am proud that my kids graduated from GHS! They participated in many sports and extracurricular activities. I know how much it hurt me when my daughters were upset about how things were going on their team or at school. But, try to take the emotion out of it. Try to look at both sides of the issue. Our coaches care deeply about your kids. They want what is best for your son or daughter. The Coaches want and want what is best for the team. You may disagree with their decisions, but they do it with a good heart. No one can say our coaches don't care about their players. No one can say they don't want the best for their team. I love our coaches, athletes, and parents at GHS. Roll Big TRAIN!